Friends. We all need them. Most of us think we already have them. Yet, why is it that sometimes we feel lonely? Now, this isn’t the I’m bored and my friends are all busy lonely.
I’m talking the deep, yearning of the soul kind of loneliness that doesn’t go away. The kind of loneliness that is masked by a great conversation with a friend or a fun movie night with your closest friends. Yet, over time, it seems that our soul is “leaky” – no amount of lunches or affirmation can permanently fill that void we have inside of us. It’s feels as if soon after we feel all “warm and fuzzy,” we need more – more love, friends, people, ice cream, you name it.
I had a very real encounter recently with this pit of the soul loneliness that led me to rock bottom – a place where I truly believed the lies being fed to me: I am alone. I don’t belong. I’m on the outside looking in. No amount of warm fuzzies was able to fill this hole in my life that could only be identified after you unveiled the layers of perceived happiness and smiles.
I think it’s important to identify these feelings of loneliness. As my girl, Shasta Nelson states, “Our greatest fear as humans is the fear of being rejected, so we’re scared to admit it if we don’t feel like we’re popular, accepted, or connected to others. We have busy, networked, amazing, giving women who are dying on the inside because they’re lonely.”
Back in January 2016, I was dying inside. I was lonely. And I didn’t know what to do about it. Then, my friends recommended I listen to a “Friendship Seminar” by Shasta Nelson that transformed the way I thought about friendships and connectedness. I can proudly say that I am working towards building deeper friendships, intentionally, and have adjusted my view on what it looks like to foster relationships and to manage my expectations. Welcome to a three part series, where I describe my exploration for more friends. Sounds lame, but oh it is so real. Read the next post to learn about some key lessons I learned.